Ongoing Journey - August 2022

Grandpa, Empathy

In case you didn't know, pink is my grandpa's favorite color.

My grandpa has remained the least empathetic person I’ve met.

Visited him back in 2019, every morning he would slam open the guest bedroom, drag me to the bathroom at 5:30am while yelling

起来啊太阳都晒屁股了

I get up reluctantly, dressing half asleep, take a look outside, and realize the sun is indeed brightly shining

in the United States of America :’).

Blunt and abrasive, ironically grandpa is also the most caring person when it comes to me. As he would reenforce every time we chat, ‘if you want to eat something go have it, if you fail the exam fuck the professors, if you need money ask grandpa’ he would say on repeat.

When little always wanted to be someone like grandpa, however, as time passes by, I am less of the kid back then. I start to notice people around me, their emotions and ways of thinking. Had a chat with Lucia and she described me as someone who is 优柔寡断, taking too long to make decisions.

I feel comfortable who I am now, though seen the changes, can’t help remembering back as a kid, sitting on his lap, at the balcony eating watermelons, his picture of this simple world:

以后如果有人要是欺负你，你使劲干他就完事了.

Dad, Empathy, Fishing

Dad taught me two lessons on empathy. The first was ‘treat people the way you wish to be treated’. Remember he taught me this after an intense fight with a classmate back in kindergarten, and found the lesson helpful ever since.

That is, until I had my failed confession lol, as I was baffled on what I missed, so dad and I sat down, and he taught me the second lesson of his life.

The story goes like this: My dad, while little, went fishing by himself one day and caught nothing. That night he also got beat up because it turns out, he has used his favorite food (pork belly) as bait and used it all up.

You know [my nickname], sometimes it’s about treating people the way they wish to be treated.

And that’s the story of how I was helped lol, realizing that different people wish to be treated in different ways.

Mom, End of the Line

Past couple of days my mom brought back up the infamous phrase

I will finally be free after you graduate from college

While feeling ironic ( because three years ago the sentence was ‘I will finally be free after you graduate from high school’), I also thought, perhaps I had the same mindset?

As for now my mind set has been, once I find an intern at a bigger tech company, the future of my life will be settled. But clearly that’s not the case lol, I’ve already switched my major twice at college, and my life post-college would only be longer + with more turbulence.

I wonder if it’s because I set my target too close in the future, hence this feeling that everything will be done once goals are achieved.

Jimmy taught me to see life as a game, an infinite game, because once you do, you will no longer be blinded by what everyone else is doing right now, and will keep going even after you didn’t hit your milestone.

Changing the current goal from ‘secure an intern’ to ‘become a better storyteller’, will keep myself updated on how it goes.